Plato once said, "The only thing I know is that I know nothing at all." I'm pretty sure when I was younger, I wouldn't have understood that maxim. The older I get, though, the more I realize how true it really is.

On Sunday, the Bible study topic was the famous "not by works" verses in Ephesians, Chapter 2. Ten years ago, if you had asked me about this passage, I would have told you that I understood the whole thing backwards and forwards, inside and out. Through the Bible study on Sunday, though, I realized that Plato and I have a lot in common: I really know nothing at all.

Let's rewind for a moment, shall we? Let's backtrack all the way to middle school. The year was 1996 and I decided to make a list. A long list. I divided my life into four sections: physical, social, emotional, and spiritual. Then, I made a checklist to complete every night before I went to bed for each of these four areas. The following is an excerpt from the "Spiritual" list just to give you an idea.

"My Spiritual Goals"

1) Continue devotions between 7:00 am and 8:00 a.m.
2) Continue meaningful devotions before bed.
3) Choose one topic to study on Saturday.
4) Write one encouraging letter per day
5) Attend Friday morning Bible study.
6) Review Sermon notes on Monday.
7) Review Powerlife notes on Thursday.
8) Don't be a hypocrite.
9) Pray with friends, not just for them.
10) Give without expecting returns.
11) And the list went on...and on...and on....

After almost a year of nightly checking off which of these things I had done and which of things I had not done, I finally became very disillusioned with my "faith." I was spiritually exhausted. I was dry. I was tired of working my soul to death. I almost rejected Christianity altogether until the Lord showed me that I was way off base. I began to love this verse: For it is by grace you have been saved through faith -- and this not from yourselves, It is the gift of God -- not by works, so that noone can boast.

And then the pendulum swung...

Instead of waking up early every morning to have my quiet time, I started sleeping in. Instead of reviewing sermon notes, I stopped taking sermon notes altogether. I took the "grace" part of the verse way too seriously and shyed away from anything that could remotely be labeled as "works." Oops.

I wish I could tell you that this confusion was short-lived, but it wasn't. In fact, to reach the moment where the light bulb went off, we must fast-forward the story through the rest of high school, all of college, and even some graduate school until we land on this past Sunday night. I was sitting in Sunday School believing that I understood grace through faith when it hit me: I have spent the past 10 years making excuses for why I shouldn't have to do anything "religious." Since my middle school epiphany that a relationship with God does not equal a checklist, I have somehow felt exempt from doing anything at all. I have been flashing my pretend "I-used-to-be-a-legalist-so-now-I-can't-have-a-structured-spiritual-life" pass for years.

And then I read verse 10. For we are God's masterpiece, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. I am God's masterpiece. I am already complete because of the saving blood of Jesus. Even a checklist a million miles long would never please God any more than I do right now.
But I am also a masterpiece with a purpose: created in Christ Jesus to do good works. Back in middle school, I thought I had to do good works to become a masterpiece. For the past ten years, I thought I didn't have to do good works because I already was a masterpiece.

"Truth lies in tension filled pairs," says Samuel, the ABF teacher. And he's right. The Truth is that no amount of good works could ever make God love me more. Yet, I must continue to do good works. The reason I do good works, however, has absolutely nothing to do with me and everything to do with God. I continue to read my bible, and go to church, and take notes when the preacher speaks NOT for my own personal advancement in the kingdom but because doing so fulfills the will of God and brings glory to HIM!

Turns out, the "works" that I was so in love with in middle school and then so turned off by in high school were never about me to begin with! They are an expression of God's pleasure. An opportunity for his masterpiece (me!) to do that which He has prepared in advance for me to do.

So, my friends, I'm turning in my "I-used-to-be-a-legalist-so-now-I-can't-have-a-structured-spiritual-life" pass tonight and opening up my Bible before I go to bed. Not because a "quiet time" will win me any brownie points with God but solely because my God, my worthy God, will receive glory because of it.